How are Christians different from Jews, you ask? The Jewish Bible is like the Christian Bible, except it’s Jewish. Also, the ancient Jews thought their one god could beat up all the other puny gods like the golden calf which wasn’t even a god at all. The Jews were smart, which made the Christians even smarter later on when they said, “No more Jewishism.”
It has come to our attention that the scientific leaders at Brigham and Women’s Hospital did not have an opportunity, prior to today, to review the findings of the paper entitled ‘Consumption of Artificial Sweetener and Sugar Containing Soda and the Risk of Lymphoma and Leukemia in Men and Women’, to be published in today’s Journal of Clinical Nutrition [sic]. Upon review of the findings, the consensus of our scientific leaders is that the data is weak, and that BWH Media Relations was premature in the promotion of this work. We apologize for the time you have invested in this story.
A statement from Brigham and Women’s Hospital to reporters.
Translation: never mind.
As NBC’s Robert Bazell reported, “Earlier in the week the hospital sent out a press release about the study with the headline ‘The truth isn’t sweet when it comes to artificial sweeteners.’ ” The paper, he said, had been shopped around to six journals before a seventh agree to publish it.
The findings, if you’re still interested in seeing them, are out in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.